Ebola!! Not just a disease, but a state of mind.

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Ebola, it just kinda flows off your tongue like superfluous does. Very fitting for a virus that makes your internal organs into a soup and causes them to flow out of your body, don't you think so?
Ebola is my favorite disease, where else can you find so many cool special effects packed into a small package of RNA, when the powers that be created Ebola they really had something. There are 3 major forms of Ebola that have been identified as of now, they are as follows: Ebola Zaire currently the most virulent strain 90% mortality rate first discovered in September of 1976, Ebola Sudan, and Ebola Reston an airborne strain that was discovered in laboratory monkeys in Reston, Virginia; as well as a closely related virus known as Marburg that was discovered in Marburg, Germany in September 1967. Ebola kills by turning your internal organs into soup, literally. As your body disintegrates you bleed out of every orifice on your body and also through some newly created ones. Ebola Soup anyone? Ebola has around a 90% mortality rate, this means that if you happen to catch Ebola, by playing with rotten carcasses or possibly in bat caves, you will have a 10% chance of survival. The odds at this game are a hell of a lot easier than the lottery and publishers clearing house. The best thing is if you play the Ebola lottery you don't have to wait till the Prize Patrol comes around and you don't have to go to the store to buy your ticket, you get to punch out at home. So far there have been no known outbreaks of Ebola in the United States in humans. A while back some government agency almost released it about 100 miles from the White House but lucky for them it was contained and only killed some monkeys. (And we all know monkeys don't have feelings and they aren't really alive) Just because there has never been an American outbreak, however, doesn't mean that some dirty foreigner can't bring it into our country. We all know that not only do dirty foreigners take jobs away from real Americans but they also bring in lots of drugs and weapons. Boys and girls, if you ever see a dirty foreigner, I urge you to please call your local chapter of the prominent racist faction and have them beat the dirty foreigner to death with bats and pipes. If it is a French dirty foreigner, however, call me and I will dispose of the snobby bastard myself. |NOTE: SARCASM|

For more technical and truthful information on Ebola the virus go to the links page.

Since the release of such popular books and movies like Outbreak and The Hot Zone "ebola" has come to mean much more than just a disease, it is now a business, a career, and an attitude. I would even go so far as to say that ebola is a psychological condition.

Ebola: 1. (v.) Acting in a manner that is out of control, crazy, insane, Ebola. Ex: Chuck came in and went completely Ebola, he threw a desk and strangled that poor kid.
2. (adj.) Word used to describe someone or something that frequently acts in an ebola manner. Ex: how would I describe Chuck? Well, he's nice, but kind of Ebola if you know what I mean.

As you can see, the connotations of the word Ebola are many and growing fast. These connotations are derived from the erratic behavior of monkeys in the movie Outbreak, and the extremely violent nature of the virus itself. Someone acting in an Ebola manner can be described as being in a Metabolic Rage which is a pure synonym for Ebola.

Please note that I am not an Ebola expert and you should not go kill all the dirty foreigners.... Kill the dirty hippies instead. You can mail us at Ebola@corg.org.
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ęChurch of the Gerbil 1997