The Truth Behind Lime Jello
"And the Gerbil King came to Hacim in a dream and said 'You were not meant to live in this atmosphere of oxygen and CO2, you were meant to live in Lime Jello. We hit two snags, however, we couldn't figure how to make you breath in it and Jello wouldn't license us to use it.'"


Lime Jello. Misrepresented in bad hospital torture flicks, manipulated by lunchladies and old world relatives, scourge of the bunny, ambrosia of the gerbil. Lime Jello is perfect, it is pleasing to all the senses. If you could fill a pool with it it would feel better that water, although a bit harder to swim in. Now you are probably wondering: Why all this fuss about lime jello? The answer to that question is simple, lime jello has come under attack by the evil bunny people. In a quote from the evil bunny pope "He came to me in a dream, and told me of the Flaming Pit of [lime green] Jell-O, which is purported to be in Wheeling, WVa, and is the place of eternal damnation for those who would seek to destroy the Bunny." In response to this blasphemy we only need to say that it is better to bathe in jello than serve these vile pellet droping beasts.

I now present to you
the beautiful pool of jello
in which all good gerbilists will bathe
for eternity in heaven.
The Great Jello Pool

Now that you have leaned this wisdom go forth and spread your knowledge to all those who resist. after all why preach to people who want to hear you?
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ęChurch of the Gerbil 1997